Life's Sacrifices-Memorial Day, 2008

Today is Memorial Day-a day we honor all those who have served our country and lost their lives in doing so. I give thanks for their willingness to serve and understand their commitment to this great country that provides so much to us, its citizens.

Radio and TV programs have been talking a lot about the sacrifices these men and women have made for us and I don't disagree, but...

What about the sacrifices that caregivers make every day? Not many really acknowledge the fact that across the world thousands of people are fighting their own private war and living in their own private hell of grief and loss after fighting the good fight with a loved one for weeks/months/years.

If you are someone who has marched into the battle of caregiving and has some tips to share with us on what made it easier for you, please respond to this post. You'll be offering a gift of peace to those who are fighting in the war of grief right now.

So on this Memorial Day, let's give thanks for the sacrifices each person has made and will made for us and be mindful of the sacrifices we make each day in our choices of how we show up for our family, our co-workers and ourselves.

Coping with a "surprise hit" 21 years later

I was simply relaxing and catching up on Sunday's paper when the Macy's advertising insert jumped out and bit me.

With Mother's Day coming up they were eager to push perfume and there on the first page was a photo of Chanel #5 bottles.

My mom wore Chanel #5 practically every day of her life. I can still remember sitting on her bed as a kid and watching her get ready for a night of bridge with the girls or maybe a holiday dinner with family. The last thing she'd do is dab that oh-so-transporting scent behind her ears and then head out of her room and out to the car. I knew I was growing up when she'd let me put some on, too!

So somehow, seeing that ad grabbed my heart in a way I wasn't expecting. I didn't know I would be reminded of my loss so blatantly, especially 21 years later and that it would still 'get to me' all this time later.

Has that happened to you? Maybe you wander into the garage looking for extra trash bags and, boom! You see the old hammer your deceased husband used to help make your house a home or there on the top shelf of the closet is a stuffed animal your deceased daughter played with daily; yet he or she has been gone for years.

How can we manage those moments that sweep us away in memories?

For me, I become conscious of my breathing and aknowledge the feeling I am having. Then I allow my mind a minute of remembering the times with my mom and then I give thanks for all the lessons I learned from her and for all that our relationship contributed to my life. Of course I will never forget her, but maybe the moment came to remind myself of that fact.

I think I'll head over to Macy's and pick up a bottle of Chanel #5 in honor of my mom this Mother's Day.

Welcome as Life Preservers Sets Sail

Welcome to Life Preservers, your global grief support community.

I am pleased that you have found your way to this resource of hope and I look forward to sharing my thoughts about moving through the emotions of grief and loss with you.

Whether you are a family member who's lost someone important to you or a professional working in a field of caring, I hope this will be a place for you to stop and rest for a bit as you collect useful ideas for use in your own experience.

Thank you for stopping by.