Coping with a "surprise hit" 21 years later
I was simply relaxing and catching up on Sunday's paper when the Macy's advertising insert jumped out and bit me.
With Mother's Day coming up they were eager to push perfume and there on the first page was a photo of Chanel #5 bottles.
My mom wore Chanel #5 practically every day of her life. I can still remember sitting on her bed as a kid and watching her get ready for a night of bridge with the girls or maybe a holiday dinner with family. The last thing she'd do is dab that oh-so-transporting scent behind her ears and then head out of her room and out to the car. I knew I was growing up when she'd let me put some on, too!
So somehow, seeing that ad grabbed my heart in a way I wasn't expecting. I didn't know I would be reminded of my loss so blatantly, especially 21 years later and that it would still 'get to me' all this time later.
Has that happened to you? Maybe you wander into the garage looking for extra trash bags and, boom! You see the old hammer your deceased husband used to help make your house a home or there on the top shelf of the closet is a stuffed animal your deceased daughter played with daily; yet he or she has been gone for years.
How can we manage those moments that sweep us away in memories?
For me, I become conscious of my breathing and aknowledge the feeling I am having. Then I allow my mind a minute of remembering the times with my mom and then I give thanks for all the lessons I learned from her and for all that our relationship contributed to my life. Of course I will never forget her, but maybe the moment came to remind myself of that fact.
I think I'll head over to Macy's and pick up a bottle of Chanel #5 in honor of my mom this Mother's Day.
posted by Ann at
1:02 PM
3 Comments:
What beautiful writing, Ann. Your open sharing gives strength to others. Thank You.
I can remember when my father died. Several months after the fact, I was setting the table for Sunday dinner at my mom's, and I automatically set a plate for my dad. When I realized what I had done, I stopped and looked at my mom. She said, "what?" I just pointed to the extra place setting, and said "look what I just did." We both had a good laugh over it, but it's amazing how things like that can come back at the oddest times. I also know that whenever anything really good happens to me, my first thought is that I need to call mama and tell her. But I guess she knows.
Thanks for writing this.
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