Walking Your Talk

Dr. O. Carl Simonton is dead. He's been dead since late June, but I only now found out.

I was Googling people who have been influential in my life: Joanna Bull, Howard Benjamin, Carl Simonton and others, to see what they are doing now. Carl is not doing much on this earthly plane, but believe me, he is sharing his wisdom in the great byond.

Carl Simonton was an early pioneer in the mind-body movement; convinced that the mind could, and did, effect the body's repsonse to healing and that by visualizing unhealthy cells being overtaken by healthy ones, patients could affect the course of their treatment and ultimately, the disease itself. Carl had a reputation as a kind of freak back in the seventies by the medical community, when he first went public with his ideas.

In the late eighties I brought him in to do a weekend workshop for the cancer patients I was working with at the time. It was a big deal to have someone of his stature in our community, and a real stretch for my organization's budget. But I knew I had to have him come and share.

For three days Carl publicly gave us hope, permission and techniques for healing. He privately provided me with words of wisdom as I would drive him back and forth to the workshop and media appearances. "The body needs a balance between work and play," he would tell me. "I can tell you are working too hard. Take Monday and Tuesday off since you will have worked all weekend." What? That concept was unheard of to me, but Simonton backed it up by informing me that he would be sailing his boat for 2 days, when he got home. He too, would have worked the whole weekend.

Dr. O. Carl Simonton walked his talk and that made an impression on me. He parlayed his thoughts into the ground-breaking book, Getting Well Again, and helped thousands of cancer patients around the world through his presentations and week-long group sessions at the Simonton Cancer Center.

His heart and his work will be long remembered by many.

Laboring On After Labor Day

We're back at work here in the US of A, after a nice long holiday called Labor Day. It was a time for me to truly explore how I want to work between now and the end of the year.

I talked with a friend who has continually manifested a foot problem that insists she sit and put her foot up much of the day. She is frustrated and declared "I don't like this! There is so much I wanted to DO this weekend!" Alas, the message is clear: stop DOing and start BEing.

What would happen if you simply unplugged from the world for a day or two? What ideas would feel welcome or what inspired actions would you be led to take? You won't know until you give yourself the gift of time to just Be.

When I stopped by the grocery store yesterday, the woman behind the cash register told me that she had no problem being at work on a holiday. "I enjoy this work," she said. "People don't believe me, but I really do."

I believe her. I enjoy my work, too. I used to think that everyone did, but I have learned through my years of coaching small business owners that it isn't always the case. These clients are the ones with the most stress, the most drama and the most dissatisfaction. And once they have the realization of the true cause and take steps to shift it, amazing things happen.

Things like no neck pain, lower stress levels and more peace of mind. Things like time for enjoying the simple things and engaging in community projects because they want to, not because it's good p.r. for their business or the boss told them they had to show up.

What's the true work of your heart? Your soul's purpose? Do that and see how you feel. And as you let go of your old paradigm of how work "should" be, there will be no grieving for what was, only an excitement and gratitude for what is to be.

Cookie Cravings

I need a sugar cookie. No, not one of those slice and bake kind or the ones from Pepperidge Farm, I need one of my grandmother's sugar cookies.

Trouble is, Grandma Hempstead died many years ago and it has fallen to me to carry on our cookie baking tradition. Throughout my childhood my grandma and I would spend a Saturday baking Christmas cookies that pleased the eye and the stomach. The recipe was a family one and I am thankful I still have the original recipe card in her handwriting that guides me each year when I bake.

Today would have been Grandma's birthday, so perhaps that is why I am so sugar cookie happy. We always had the traditional birthday cake at family dinners to commemorate the occassion, but perhaps she would have enjoyed a sugar cookie just as much? I do know she loved our baking time together just as much as I did. I remember sprinkling the colored sugar onto the finished product and coloring icing so that I could create a work of art: Santa Claus, a bell, a snowflake. She was proud of me for cleaning up the kitchen "without being asked" and reminded me that "that's what a good cook does".

There's no time in my busy schedule for baking today, but I will stop by the store and pick up some sugar cookies to much on later. One for me and one for honoring Grandma's memory.

I Miss My Focus

Maybe it was the heat. It could have been my demanding schedule and some resistance to a big project, but I seem to have misplaced my focus.

Or have I? Maybe I am just pushing myself so hard to complete things by July 1, that I am causing myself this grief? I've just made a major purchase, so maybe that has me distracted? Naw, I wanted to do that and I am confident in my decision.

So what is it? I am not interested in completing a big deadline for someone else, I have 4 Life Preservers projects to complete and want to get draft 2 of my book done. Not to mention keep up with friends, the house and the daily details of life.

I just feel antsy and like I have lost my focus.

If you see any on sale at Target, call me.

Life is a Thriller

The whole world is reeling with news of the deaths of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon. It is too much loss for one week, one day. And so the planet comes together to mourn and, hopefully, get the message for real this time: life is short.

Whenever we experience the loss of a public figure we are marked by time. We remember the moment we heard the news, float back in time to the many memories that were created through experiencing the celebrity's popularity. Chances are you can remember who your friends were when Charlie's Angels premiered, the car you had when you first heard 'Thriller' and knew your mom would insist you head to bed when you heard "Heerrreee's Johnny!"

So we grieve for the loss of these so-very-public lives of people we never really knew, but we really mourn for the loss of the times, places and people who helped make us who we are today. That's natural and normal.

What matters now is how you use the experience as you move forward.

Shooting Two for Illinois

I have never met Jeff Jordan, but I'd like to. Any young man who has the courage to know clearly his life's desires, and act on them in the midst of a media glare, gets my attention.

You may know that Jeff, the son of basketball great, Michael Jordan, has decided to quit basketball and get a 'real life'. The world appears to be in an uproar over this decision: how could he do such a thing and let daddy down? Doesn't he realize there is a legacy at stake?

I bet Michael is pretty proud of his son about now. I mean, really, doesn't this just speak to his parenting skills? What better gift as a parent than to know you have raised an independent thinker who has talents that can be shared in several ways?

Of course, I don' t know the whole story. Maybe they've had agonizing drama over this decision for the past few months. Maybe Michael has now disowned his son over his choice and has threatened harm with a creative use of those tennis shoestrings. I don't know. But I doubt it.

It can be tough when you lose a dream or a goal, but then, who's dream was it? The university's? The media's? Dad's? Your's? Life happens and things change. We can grieve for the loss of that goal or we can turn around and see even more opportunity.

Like father, like son: Jeff Jordan is jumping high and scoring points with me. Good luck, Jeff!

She's a Princess

She's hesitant but friendly, fearful but curious. She's the neighbor's dog, Princess. And she's getting more confident in her surroundings every day, wandering the neighborhood, chasing the rabbits and enojoying the water the neighbors leave out for her. Yep, it's a dog's life.

A few years ago it was a cat's life at my house. I had both Mick and Molly with me for over 18 years and they brought me great joy. They both died within the same year and the losses tore at my heart and left me empty for sometime.

Not everyone understands that. Those who don't have pets wonder why those of us who do get so emotional when they die? I don't understand them not understanding me! Any loss is valid, no matter the person, animal, place or thing. Each loss contributes to who we are today.

I don't imagine Mick or Molly would give Princess much thought if they were here today. Independent, calm and lethargic, an entergetic dog would be of no use to them. But they would all understand one thing: the people who love them are blessed to have them in their lives.

So for those of you who have lost a pet, send an extra prayer of catnip or Milk bones their way today. And treasure your memories always.